What’s the point of it all?

I wish I had all the answers to my day to day life! I very much don’t. I’m the type of person who must learn things the hard way. No advice anyone has ever given me sticks, no self pep talks— even getting completely knocked over on my ass has never made me learn. I admire my obstinacy for keeping me determined and headstrong, but it is also my biggest weakness. I think I know all the answers until I get stabbed in the back— even then, I keep going until I’m bled dry. So what’s the point of it all? The determination gets you killed, and staying closed off and reserved gets you nowhere! Even after all I’ve been through, I’m no where near afraid of my determination and absolute desire to give my all to everything that could completely blow up in my face. How else will I ever learn?

We must bleed in order to bloom.